Still feeling a bit lost and alone

Last November I decided to risk blogging about something other than running and fitness. My Feeling a bit lost and alone blog was read by over a thousand people and the support I received was invaluable.

As it’s now over six months since I put pen to paper and poured my heart out, I decided it’s time for an update.A well placed bench

I’m pleased to report that if I ignore the fact my bank account was emptied at the end of last month – thanks Active! – at the moment I feel slightly more in control of my life. I know that I need to make a few changes but I feel more in control than I did in November.

My close friend and mentor is still battling his rare and unfortunately incurable form of thyroid cancer. I managed to spend some time with him just before Christmas and have seen him twice this year. I still miss our daily hydrology and life chats and I think it’s safe to say I’ll never forget him. I raised over £500 for a thyroid cancer charity and hope to raise more money for the Royal Marsden Cancer Charity.

I got the opportunity to say “thank you” and later on this year have the opportunity to make him proud when I present my research at a hydrology conference.

Back in November I shared my concerns about working in an office environment for the first time in a number of years. I’m pleased to report that although from time to time I find working in a large open plan office a little overwhelming, my colleagues are awesome and have been incredibly supportive.

My line manager actively encourages us to take breaks as and when we need them and I doubt many other managers would have allowed me to drop what I was doing so that I could travel down to London to see my mentor.

While I’m still travelling back home most weekends, I’m pleased I accepted the temporary assignment and relocated (sort of) to Wally. The only downside to the temporary contract is the fact I’m now job hunting again. I’m really going to miss my colleagues when my contract comes to an end. I’m reasonably confident I’ll keep in touch with some of them.

I was also incredibly stressed out about the festive period. I had very little money, had failed to find myself a temporary Christmas job and felt like I’d let people down. Although Christmas was a little stressful at times, my family and friends didn’t seem too bothered about the lack of expensive presents. If I ever find myself in the same sort of situation, I hopefully won’t let myself get so worked up.

Finally, I’m now 39 *gulp* and unfortunately still feel completely alone. I’ve now accepted that I’m going to be left on the shelf forever, and will end up living alone surrounded by rescue cats. I’m not single by choice and I’m not happy living alone and not having anyone to turn to for advice.  I guess I’ll have to hope that I meet my ‘Mr Right’ in the vegetable aisle of my local supermarket.

So although I’m feeling far, far happier than I did six months ago, until I find myself a permanent job and can plan ahead, I’m afraid that I’m still feeling a bit lost and alone.

Apologies for asking a slightly nosey question but where did you meet your partner? I’m thinking that hanging around the vegetable aisle in Sainsbury’s isn’t working.

Have you ever considered online dating? I’ve read so many horror stories I’m terrified of adding a profile.   


13 thoughts on “Still feeling a bit lost and alone

  1. swosei12blog says:

    Seven months later and I think that I have finally acclimated to making the transfer from the lab to the office.

    I’ve met most of my partners on OKCupid. However, many of my female friends use Bumble, because it puts the selection power in their hands.


    • Emma says:

      I think I’m struggling more than most because I spent most of the time I was a PhD student alone in my own office. My new office is quite a lot noisier than the last office I worked in.
      I can’t say I’ve ever heard of either OKCupid or Bumble. Thanks for the recommendations. When I’ve finished my Saturday afternoon chores I’ll check them out.


  2. Maria @ Maria Runs says:

    It’s great that when you reflect on how things are going, you are glad that you made the leap, even if everything isn’t going as well as you hoped. Your boss sounds really supportive which is really great.
    I was lucky and met Andy via mutual school friends, as we were all going to see a band together, but when I look at my friends now, most of them met their partners via online dating. One of my friends keeps me in touch with this sort of thing, and she would do dates like meeting for coffee, or going to a museum (as we are close to London there are lots of those sorts of options) so it’s more relaxed and less pressure. If you give it a go and don’t enjoy it, you can just cancel, and I am sure some of them do free trials?


    • Emma says:

      Thanks Maria. I met my first ‘proper’ partner before I started university. I sometimes regret being in a couple throughout university as that’s where most of my friends met their now husbands.
      As a few people have messaged me to say that they met via online dating, I’m going to have to be brave and check out a few sites. I’m just a little weary because I’ve read so many horror stories. I know that I’m being sill because people probably don’t always share their ‘good news’ stories.


  3. Laurie says:

    I met my hubby in calculus class in college (about 100 years ago haha!!!) I have friends who have had great success with online dating. If you are looking for someone, I would definitely give it a try.
    Is there a running club near where you live? There are several couples who met each other through our local running club.
    I am sorry to hear that you are somewhat lost and alone, but glad to read about the outpouring of support sparked by your blog post.


    • Emma says:

      Thanks for taking the time to read and to comment on my blog Laurie. It means a lot.
      I love that you met your hubby in a calculus class. I’m a little unlucky in that I was at an all girls school until I was 18 so potentially missed out on meeting the love of my life during geography.
      I think I’m definitely going to be brave and to try online dating. I’ve read quite a few positive stories. I mean what’s the worst thing that can happen?
      There is a running club near where I work but everyone seems to be coupled up. The other issue is that I’m only going to be working and living in Wally until the end of this year.
      The outpouring of support has been amazing. I think people appreciate bloggers who honest. I know that I do.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. AnnaTheApple says:

    I wish I could help but I’m in the same boat with the single life. Getting involved in lots of running events helps – basically widening your social net. Meeting new people who have friends of friends…it helps a bit! But it’s still tough 😦


    • Emma says:

      I’m sorry you’re in the same boat as me with single life, it sucks! I’ve got everything crossed you meet someone soon. I’ve been out and about a lot more since I started working in Wallingford. Unfortunately, the vast majority of people appear to be either married or in long-term relationships. The only single men I’ve have been muppets.


    • Emma says:

      Hi Kyra! I’ve recently volunteered at a couple of local tennis tournaments. Perhaps I need to ditch the tennis and focus more on running races…


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